i wanted to share this at the slam but i got too scared. next time.
sometimes i wonder about heaven
how maybe we were made out teeny strips of gold and dripped from gods hands into this little glistening river we call life.
but most of us know it doesnt necessarily 'glisten'.
did god in heaven make it that way?
that when were born, instead of being eased into the river we were actually thrown into the storming riptide?
of course he did.
he meant for us to figure out how to swim by drowning us first.
we choke on the salt and are thrown against the rocks;
"you arent good enough"
"your brother is addicted to drugs"
"your acceptance has been denied"
"you arent strong enough"
"you are worthless".
the test is whether we can mend the wounds on our heads from the rocks and pull oursleves out of the water.
and lots of the times, we continue drowning.
we sink deeper and deeper
and even though we've been taught to swim we lay limp,
not caring who the hell wants us to break the surface.
but then again, how do we know if there really is anyone?
sometimes i wonder about heaven
how maybe we were made out teeny strips of gold and dripped from gods hands into this little glistening river we call life.
but most of us know it doesnt necessarily 'glisten'.
did god in heaven make it that way?
that when were born, instead of being eased into the river we were actually thrown into the storming riptide?
of course he did.
he meant for us to figure out how to swim by drowning us first.
we choke on the salt and are thrown against the rocks;
"you arent good enough"
"your brother is addicted to drugs"
"your acceptance has been denied"
"you arent strong enough"
"you are worthless".
the test is whether we can mend the wounds on our heads from the rocks and pull oursleves out of the water.
and lots of the times, we continue drowning.
we sink deeper and deeper
and even though we've been taught to swim we lay limp,
not caring who the hell wants us to break the surface.
but then again, how do we know if there really is anyone?
I saw this YouTube video where moms pushed their toddlers in pools and the children sunk for a minute but eventually floated onto their backs and kicked around.
ReplyDeleteThey didn't die.
That's one thing I remembered while reading this.
Also, I feel you when you talk about being scared to perform. I totally feel you. I hope you give it a shot one time. You can do it.