love is absolute

when i was watching the oscars there was a quote in the movie 'birdman'. and i really liked it, so here i am writing about the quote, 'love is absolute'.


my dad told me once that love was absolute;
and that you could love someone so infinitley if you really tried to understand.
but trying to understand him is like trying to read freshly smudged ink.

you cant.

5 and 7
we were just kids
and i remember being afraid of his anger;
i thought he'd hit me if i didnt let him borrow the purple crayon.
but i still loved him because daddy told me love was absolute.

june of 2009
we swung on the swings on our last day of school
"sissy why do you have to leave elementary school?'
he would ask
and i assured him i would still be home to help him with his times tables
and that he could have my favorite pen to help him remember them.

thursday evening in september of '13
i took him out for ice cream
he told me not to worry
about the liquid in the funny bottle.
i stood still and let out a small breath;
i still loved him.

3:06am two years later
i hear whimpers through the walls.
i tried to love him that day
but the odor and the drugs were too much;
i let him cry alone.

and i shouldve worried two septembers ago.

friday
we experienced judges and parole officers
and all i could think of was how he made me go through a true heart break;
the kind where your heart is picked and prodded at
until everything eventually falls apart.
the fatal kind.

1:03pm today
i had to fight back tears
no one wants to be seen crying in spanish class
because then you have to explain.
and i dont think i can explain him.
i dont think i can explain drugs
i dont think i can explain the definition of infinite
and i definitley cannot explain why love is absolute;

sorry dad, i think you were wrong.